Have you ever wondered why you sometimes find it difficult to influence people and get what you want?
I was delivering a workshop recently and happened to be wearing my bright purple ‘Happy T-shirt.’
As sometimes happens when you set up, I faced a challenge with the audio-visual configuration. My slideshow would not display properly on the big screen.
(If you’ve ever had to give a presentation to VIP clients then I’m sure you know the feeling of cold dread!)
I was worried about getting off on the wrong note (or not at all!).
I needed some help from the event host and quickly. I set off across the large hall with a furrowed brow and worried expression on my face.
One of the delegates stopped and said to me, “Your face doesn’t match your T-shirt, mate!”
For a moment I was confused and then I realised. I burst out laughing. My face and the word ‘Happy’ were a contradiction in terms!
I immediately smiled, apologised and explained my predicament. In turn, he was very helpful in sorting out my IT issue and the show could go on!
I then I got to thinking…have you ever wondered why you sometimes find it difficult to influence people and get what you want?
Maybe your face is saying ‘No’?
To illustrate the point, let me share another story with you…
President Thomas Jefferson was traveling with companions across the country on horseback in the early 1800s.
The travelers approached a large, swollen river that had overflowed its banks
Each rider carefully crossed the treacherous river on horseback risking their lives in the process.
A stranger appeared and wondered how he was going to get across.
He looked at the President and asked if he could get a ride across the river.
Thomas Jefferson said, “Sure, hop on!”
As the stranger slid off the horse on the other side, one of the companions questioned why he asked the President for a ride.
The stranger replied, “I didn’t know he was the President. All I know is that his face said ‘yes’, and all your faces said ‘no’!”
It was Charles Swindoll who said:
“The most significant decision I make each day is my choice of an attitude. When my attitudes are right there’s no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme and no challenge too great.”
And he is right. For many of us, your face has said ‘no’ way too often. Your face has already spoken before you’ve even opened your mouth. It says ‘no’ and people can see it, smell it and sense a mile off. Everything about your attitude says ‘no’. Of course, sometimes you need a ‘no’ face but not all of the time!
People are very much aware of and watch for your non-verbal communication. You are always communicating even when you haven’t said a word.
All of us are constantly being evaluated during meetings, conversations, and interactions.
People watch from a distance because they want to know if they can trust you. They want to know if it is safe to get on your horse and ride across the river with you.
What does a ‘yes’ face say? It says you are positive, trusting, confident, smiling and approachable. It is an outward expression of an inward experience.
So, what does your face say about you? And maybe you might need to change it if you want different results.
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I’m passionate about inspiring people to tap into their unique talents and strengths – to be the best they can be – to fulfill the potential they always knew they had. It’s not about ‘fixing’ you. Rather, it’s about helping you access the best part of yourself so you’re able to make the changes, release the dragons and powerfully step into your brilliance.
If you are interested in performance coaching, try my free 20-minute introductory session. Just contact me and I’ll arrange a time and date for us to chat by phone or face-to-face.
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Mark Russell Inspired Performance Coaching – Dedicated to Your Success.